Multi-Certified & Trauma-Informed Sexologist

Ilah Kristel I Mallari

I am a charismatic and assertive coach dedicated to creating a "judgment-free zone" where clients feel safe while remaining focused on their personal goals. With over a decade of experience as a sex educator and three years as a sexologist, I specialize in supporting survivors, sex workers, and the queer, trans, and disabled BIWOC communities. My practice is built on the principles of consent-heavy harm reduction, meeting you exactly where you are in the present moment to facilitate healing and empowerment.

Location: San Francisco, CA, USA.

Worldwide Qualification: Multi-Certified & Trauma-Informed Sex Coach and Erotic ASMR Content Creator.

Local Qualification (USA): Certified Sex Coach and Sexual Health Educator.

Specializations: Survivors of sexual assault and violence (SA/SV) | Sex workers and kink/BDSM communities| Queer, Trans, and Disabled BIWOC communities | Non-monogamous relationships and solo-fulfillment.

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1. Support for Survivors of Trauma

I specialize in working with survivors of sexual assault and violence (SA/SV) to navigate the complexities of trauma. While I believe that not everyone necessarily "heals" from trauma in a traditional sense, I help my clients learn how to redirect the brain into positive pathways and directions. My approach is both supportive and active, having gained a reputation for my tenacity in assisting survivors in finding accountability and closure regarding their past experiences.

3. Queer, Trans & Non-Monogamous Support

I focus heavily on queer and trans relationships, as well as anyone living outside of traditional monogamy. I help clients navigate the unique communication challenges and social dynamics that come with diverse relationship structures. This includes coaching on ethical non-monogamy and providing a supportive framework for those who are learning to be comfortable alone, ensuring every client feels seen in their specific identity.

2. Sex Work & Kink Advocacy

As a vocal advocate for sex worker safety and the Kink/BDSM community, I offer a space where these lifestyles are validated rather than judged. I provide education on safety protocols, boundary setting, and pleasure-positive frameworks specifically tailored to those working in the adult industry or exploring alternative relationship dynamics. My goal is to ensure that these clients have the tools and resources necessary to navigate their work and personal lives with confidence and autonomy.

 

4. Accessible Education for the Disabled Community

I am dedicated to providing comprehensive sexual health education for the disabled BIWOC community. My approach accounts for physical and cognitive diversity, using anatomically correct 3D models of the prostate, vagina, and clitoris to ensure education is accessible and clear. I aim to empower disabled individuals to explore their pleasure and bodily autonomy through specialized tools, adaptive techniques, and empathetic guidance.

My Services

Empowering Diverse Communities through Sexology

My practice is built on a "consent-heavy" foundation and a deep commitment to harm reduction. I provide a specialized judgment-free zone where I combine high-level empathy with professional assertiveness to help my clients reach their specific intimacy and safety goals. By integrating my background in physiology with specialized trauma-informed certifications, I bridge the gap between biological understanding and emotional healing for communities that are often underserved or misunderstood.

 
Explore My Services

Specialist in

Radical Healing & Sexual Sovereignty

Start the Conversation
This is

My Philosophy & Journey

I believe that personal healing and social awareness are deeply intertwined. We cannot fully understand our personal struggles without also understanding the cultural and relational systems we live in. My work is dedicated to bridging that gap—helping you navigate your personal challenges while staying grounded in a wider perspective of gender, health, and social dynamics.

My path to this work began with a degree in Political Science and a specialization in Gender and Health, which was later deepened by a Master’s in Interdisciplinary Intervention in Gender-Based Violence. This academic and professional journey has provided me with a unique, intersectional lens to support a wide variety of experiences. It informs every aspect of my practice, from addressing transgenerational patterns to incorporating mind-body tools like laughter therapy, all with the ultimate goal of empowering you to build a more authentic and resilient life.

Take the First Step
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Jordan V.

A unique blend of sensitivity, humor, and insight.
My clients Experience

Voices of Transformation: Trust & Growth

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Professional Excellence & Advocacy

Mentors and advisors from Sex Coach U (SCU) celebrate Ilah’s journey from a dedicated student to a trailblazing Certified Sex Coach. Recognized for a "unique blend of sensitivity, humor, and insight," Ilah is noted for their tireless advocacy for survivors of trauma, the LGBTQIA+ community, BIPOC individuals, and sex workers. Professionals describe Ilah as a role model for boundary-setting and authentic, empowering coaching that is as "fun as it is impactful."

Healing & Trauma-Informed Care

Clients highlight Ilah’s "groundedness, calmness, and care" when navigating the complexities of sexual trauma and post-breakup recovery. By helping individuals dismantle emotional roadblocks, Ilah provides the tools necessary to rebuild self-trust and confidence. Whether it is moving through a difficult transition or rediscovering pleasure after a period of inactivity, clients report feeling deeply supported, comforted, and empowered to move forward at their own pace.

Begin Your Journey

Communication & Health Advocacy

Beyond individual healing, Ilah’s coaching extends into practical self-advocacy and relational health. Clients credit Ilah with teaching them how to communicate effectively with medical professionals about their sexual health and how to advocate for their needs within their relationships. From mastering "safe and kinky" explorations to fostering better preparation and honesty with partners, Ilah helps clients build a lifestyle rooted in clear communication and physical safety.

Our Process

Your Path to Getting Started

Our journey together is rooted in a "consent-heavy" framework that meets you exactly where you are in the present moment. Utilizing the PLISSIT and MEBES coaching models, I bridge the gap between biological science and emotional healing through a blend of high-level empathy and technical expertise. You can expect a highly interactive process that may include somatic grounding via 7-4-7 guided breathing, roleplaying to navigate difficult conversations, and the use of anatomically correct 3D models and educational tools. This structured yet gentle approach is designed to move you toward sexual sovereignty, ensuring you feel supported, heard, and empowered with practical resources for your day-to-day life.

 

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of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction
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Are you

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Taking the first step is often the most courageous one. If you're ready to gain clarity, understand the patterns shaping your life, and build a more empowered future, I invite you to connect. I offer a confidential, non-judgmental space to explore if my approach is the right fit for you. Let's begin the conversation.

Schedule an Introduction

Special Focus

Erotic ASMR Creator

What truly distinguishes my practice is the integration of "Online Tenacity" with somatic innovation. I am uniquely recognized for my work in assisting survivors of sexual assault and violence in finding their abusers and demanding public accountability, a role I carry out with no fear or shame. Beyond traditional coaching, I have successfully launched audioph.ilah, an audio erotica membership that merges my lifelong passion for singing with the scientifically proven healing properties of infrasound frequencies. This rare combination of forensic-level advocacy for survivors and the use of sound as a tool for erotic healing makes my approach unlike any other in the field, offering a pathway to recovery that is as bold as it is restorative.
Ilah Kristel I Mallari
Multidisciplinary Sexologist
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